my heart's a-tappin' once again.

these past few days have been strange.
my heart has been kind of all over the place.
avoiding what it knows is truth.
but i have been reassured.
i think i know for sure what God is asking of me, where I am right now.
and i think i'm excited about it.
my heart's been giddy today, despite the less than beautiful weather.
this is good. i think this is what it feels like to truly let go of something.
i like this.

i have a crush.

there have been so many things in the past 48 hours that have made my heart beat quickly.
one of these things being watching my very favorite movie with some dear friends.
stranger than fiction....
it may be dry, and you may dislike it upon your first viewing...
but before you bash it, will you please watch it again and really listen to the dialogue.
give yourself a chance to soak in the visuals.
fall in love with the characters...
maybe we could watch it together?...
here's some snippets that make me smile...

• "you're never too old to go to space camp..."
• "harold, if you pause to think, you'd realize that that answer is inextricably contingent upon the type of life being led...and of course, the quality of the pancakes"
• "and so he did what countless punk-rock songs had told him to do so many times before: he lived his life..."

something you should know about me...
i have a crush on waking up to the sun shining through my window.

these past few days....

i've been thinking a lot about my LT family...
there have been a few days in the past week where my heart ached for them so much...
it's so hard for me to remember life before them.
my heart has been split between vt, colorado and bowling green.

i've been dreaming of thanksgiving break...
of giggling with my sister.
of serenading her with the songs that so often get on her nerves.
of drinking tea with my mom.
of being ridiculous with my brother.
of baking bread with my grandma.
of getting annoyed with my grandpa
these are things that make me feel at home.
i am in love with these people.

i've been joyful.
God has filled my heart with so much.
so much laughter.
so much friendship.
so much love.
he nearly overwhelms me...
but He is jealous for me.
and I find comfort in the fact that He doesn't need me, but He so badly wants me.
Thank God.

there's no such thing as time...

mmmmm...i have blueberry muffins in the oven..
can you smell them?
i'm officially inviting you right now to come over and enjoy them with me...
in roughly 15 minutes they will be out of the oven..so scurry on over.

today is another dreary tuesday, but my heart is light like it was a friday in spring.
i did not expect this day to look this way at all.
i have been so stressed about managing this formal meal in 220 that i (as usual) had convinced myself that it would be a tragic failure...
once again...God does what He does best and surprises me.
my group works together so well...i have a crush on them..

walked back home with the boyfriend, like a giddy schoolgirl when her boyfriend walks her to class..
and upon stepping up to my door, i looked in the mailbox and my pie cookbook had arrived!!!
oh my....i'm still flipping through it...
such a nerd.

people i love.

this weekend was full of so much greatness.

although i accomplished minimal school work...

i have a crush on this past weekend.

friday... i had a pancake dinner with two lovely friends.

baked a pie (for the first time) with liz and giggled over it with some beautiful people.

got to see layne teach herself some ukulele

saturday...baked blueberry muffins with layne for lunch.

added some color to the sidewalk with some chalk

ventured to hobby lobby and stumbled upon a few miraculous individuals.

baked some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies.

made ridiculous videos with two lovely friends.

listened to gregg's stories while laying around at freddie's

lazed around with the boyfriend, and decided it was a good idea to make some grilled cheeses at 2 in the morning.

sunday...coffee with friends before church.

lovely worship

life group at the mt cup.

um...the weather yesterday? tremendous...no jacket required.

family dinner at my place...so much love.

found a house for next year!!!! (greatest house ever....stick around next year and you'll completely agree)

put together a puzzle with the beautiful sarah brown.

laughed with bob.

and acted like i was interested in boys talking about sports..

all in all it was a weekend for the books.

i hope your's was full of smiles as well.

i care for your heart.

i saw a crane driving through campus today.
this made me giggle a bit, it just seemed strange.
of course there's construction going on all around campus, but there was just so much humor in seeing this crane slowly driving down the road as about 7 disgruntled drivers impatiently waited behind it.
part of me wanted to go up to each of their windows, smile and tell them something wonderful.
...
.....
......
i think eventually i'm going to need to give into these urges i get.
the ideas i get may seem silly, but who knows....
it would most likely make someone smile...and that's all that matters right.
maybe that's a new goal for me each week..
to actually follow through with one of my ridiculous ideas just to get a smile.
hmmmm...

tuesday...

reasons why today is great:

• i just saw a guy trying to teach his puppy a trick...it was adorable..and unsuccessful.
• pandora just played my favorite jack johnson song...
• i'm about to enjoy vegetable soup out of a mug...
• i'm not scheduled to work
• c-dogg is finally back from colorado
• i'm determined to be productive
• i got to have coffee with a very lovely friend.

i hope that your tuesday is great as well.
smile a bit...i promise it won't hurt.

i finally got a space heater!!!

isn't today just a wonderful day?
have you looked outside? the sun is shining and the leaves are such brilliant colors...
there are even some crunchy leaves that have drifted to the sidewalks...
i hope you've stepped on some today and heard the crunch of fall...
mmmmmmm.
it makes me want to walk around, drinking hot cider, holding hands, kicking the leaves around.

today is going to be a productive day for me.
coming from me...that's saying a lot.
i tend to be pretty unproductive...when it comes to schoolwork, not in relationships...but turns out as a college student it's important to be productive in both areas...hmm maybe someday i'll find that balance.

umbrellas and i...we have trust issues.

there's a spider in a corner of my bathroom.
i don't have the heart to kill...it's just curled up there all unassuming like...i'll let it be.

my hands are a silly kind of cold.
it seems that i forgot to purchase mittens when i went to target the other day.
this chilly wind is showing the error of my ways...
little forgetful me.

it's another dreary, rainy day. courtesty of muncie weather.
hmmm...that's an excuse to skip class and sit inside with some hot tea, curled up on the couch, watching the past due movies that i rented from family video, right?
tempting...but i hate being lazy...
is there a happy medium?

do you have a minute?

it's raining and dreary...and i don't even mind it.
i have a functioning umbrella, rainboots, and a few warm drinks in me (those pumpkin spice lattes...mmmmmhhhhmmm)
can you even believe the greatness that has been filling this week?
so much joy!
so much love!
God has been so obviously moving in my life and the lives of those around me.
i should've been writing all the wondrous events of this week down...well i guess i learned my lesson for next time.

my birthday was yesterday....
i'm 21. can you even believe it?
i kinda still feel like i'm 14 sometimes...
anyways...my friends gave me the greatest gift...
it was perfect for me, they know me so well...
a book...full of letters from my closest friends and pages to make lists of various things..
some of them being:

• "words you don't enjoy"
• "great names for 3-legged cats"
• "potential names for your slammin' future bakery"
• "list some dinosaurs and their favorite ice creams"

yeah...there were some more serious lists...but...ugggg...i am in love.
with these people.
with their words of encouragement.
with their smiles.
with their beauty.

this is community...and i've never felt more loved.

i'd sell my shoes...

oh. my. goodness.
it's monday again...
but you should know that this weekend was absolutely perfect.
despite having to work quite a bit and not accomplishing any of the homework i needed to work on...
God had so many kindnesses in store for me that i couldn't have imagined.
i could go into a specific list of things that made me smile this weekend...
but i'll leave it vague, because that's what i'm good at.
all i'll say is i had a wonderful breakfast of banana pancakes and tea with my best friend this morning...
my heart is so giddy.

wednesday...you will not get the best of me.

my desire to do things other than school work and procrastinate is never so strong 'til i absolutely have to finish things...
which is why i'm here...
blogging...
when i need to be at the library.
ah well.
maybe someday i'll learn my lesson?

i'm so glad tomorrow is thursday.
for a number of reasons.

• the main one being that thursday is my favorite day of the week.
• house church is on thursday!!!
• i only have 2 classes...and they're both relatively laid back.
• i usually get to hang out with beth (unfortunately this won't be able to happen tomorrow...on account of my own procrastination)
• david gets back from seattle and i can't wait to hear about his trip!
• i never have to work on thursdays!
• i'm going to make a point to take some time to be creative tomorrow...would you like to join me?
• i get to make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies for house church!!! (nothing makes me as happy as baking for people does)

so much to look forward to...
and with that in mind, i cannot and will not have a bad attitude about the work i must get done.
are you with me?

LOVE!

the smell of the falling leaves....

today has been a collection of wonderful things.
and this blog is becoming a collection of lists...
sorry about that, but something you should know about me is that i truly enjoy making lists..
so...

wonderful things about this tuesday

• wearing a flannel...a wonderful way to kick off fall
• waking up and feeling oh so comfortable under my covers
• finding out that one of my classes tomorrow is cancelled
• seeing so many people today that i haven't seen in much too long
• seeing my bff unexpectedly in the bookstore...way to be a creeper, freddie.
• receiving a letter from my wonderful penpal...the one and only eric webb.
• baking some bread..making my house smell delightful
• the tea and coffee that have been warming me all day, silly biting wind.

what about you?
has this tuesday to beat all tuesdays been wonderful for you as well?

LOVE!

i have a clumsy attention span.

oh my.
i'm mildly distracted today...
and by mildly i mean...i'm always distracted...to a ridiculous degree.
i'm actually skipping class right now...look at me go.
and i was about to rationalize that decision to you, as if i needed to explain my lack of motivation... but oh well. i just wasn't feeling it today.
and it's just one class...right?
see, there i go...rationalizing.

so i'm sitting in the library, multi-tasking... which is what i've decided to call this a.d.d. that keeps me flipping from one tab to the next.
i think i need some technology detox.
either way...
so my best friend...she's a volleyball player..a pretty fantastic volleyball player...and she just recently tore her acl...and found out yesterday that she also tore her miniscus...
that is part of my distraction right now. i'm hurting for her, and it's no fun because i'm completely helpless in this situation.
anybody got the spiritual gift of healing? that'd be real useful right now...
(p.s. that's kind of a serious, ridiculously hopeful question)

i've been trying this new thing where every day at the end of the day i write down 10 things that made me smile in the past 24 hours...
it's been sooo great.
it's kept my spirits up...and makes me giggle when i look back on it.
you should try it, if even just for a week.
i think it may just grow on you...ehhh?

this silly smile of mine...

thursdays are officially my favorite day of the week.
yesterday....oh yesterday.
it was so much more than i deserved, i am completely blown away by God's portion for me.
i did absolutely nothing to deserve this...i LOVE the way HE pursues me.
he filled me with giddiness yesterday.
God, you are so faithful...teach me to be faithful.
i don't know what it was exactly it was about yesterday...it was just perfect...
so here's a list...some things that made me smile yesterday...

• pancake dinner with friends
• breakfast for every meal
• how wonderfully my kitchen worked together in 220. (not lying... i cried a little bit i was so happy)
• riding my bike
• hanging out with my friend beth
• tea party with bekah
• my whistling tea kettle
• being awkward with sally
• shane's flannel and his rendition of hootie & the blowfish
• hugs
• bonfires
• s'mores
• neil leading worship
• having the greatest friends on the planet
• thinking about fall retreat
• ridiculous house church ice breakers...

i could go on and on...but i think you get the point.
my heart is so giddy....i'm dancing on my tiptoes...
what made you smile this week?

15 things

today i'm feeling a little under the weather.

i'm distracted and frustrated (with myself, with situations and with others)

i'm determined to shake this funk.

so here goes...15 things that make me terribly happy on this bright september day.

1. these chocolate marshmallow mateys that i'm nibbling on out of my favorite "wake up and smell the muscles mug"....thank you goodwill

2. these jeans i'm wearing, which are much too big but oh so comfortable.

3. still laughing about gregg's arrest story he told us last night.

4. knowing that after work tonight i can curl up on my couch and watch a movie with my sweatpants and some hot tea...it's been a long time.

5. the random text messages my best friend sends me.

6. this camera. i'm struggling to not buy it...it's an instant film...it's brown and adorable...but i will resist...uggggg

7. having my windows open and "muncie-fresh" air blowing through the house.

8. late night ihop runs and laughing about neil's monocle with liz..uncontrollably.

9. laughing 'til i cried so many times yesterday...it was a wonderful feeling.

10. friends that tell me they love me, and are sincere.

11. having time to be crafty tomorrow and getting to help layne paint her room.

12. this fall-like weather...so lovely. a great excuse to bust out my cardigans.

13. pumpkin-spice anything (especially lattes)....yummm...

14. learning from my friends.

15. awkward conversations.

before they turn the summer into dust...

this weekend couldn't have been any better if i would've planned it myself.

friday:

• ice cream with beautiful friends
• climbing my favorite tree to eat doughnuts with the same lovely people
• getting to see 'up' for the third time, and still falling in love with it.

saturday:

• walk to the farmer's market in hopes of finding the perfect bouquet of flowers
• flower success! - they're now in root beer bottles on the dining room table...hmmmm.
• ventured home for the night.
• laughter shared with my family. - they make my heart feel so light

sunday:

• discussing God's ridiculous sense of humor and giggling about His love with jenny
• roughly 3 cups of hot tea
• more time with my family
• sharing "freaks and geeks" with friends
• coming down with a cold (gross.)

monday:

• my concerned friends made me jell-o because they knew my mom used to do just that for me when i was sick as a kid
• more hot tea
• got to be creative all day
• baked cupcakes with liz (p.s. she asked me to make a cake for her wedding. eeek!)
• promises of a trip to cincy for some ikea and a reds game.

this weekend was beautiful.
now onto a short week of classes!!!
get excited!

and we...are getting dizzy...

it's saturday.
oh how i love saturday mornings, especially ones like this.
i woke up (semi-early...that's just how my body does).
ate some cereal out of my favorite coffee mug.
cleaned up the kitchen a bit.
ventured off to the farmer's market to say hello to a good friend and buy some flowers.
strolled back to my house in anticipation of putting my flowers in their makeshift root beer bottle vases.
now i'm sitting here soaking up ideas for new, creative things to do this weekend.
i have a tendency to want to make people things, all the time.
i love giving people gifts.
for no specific reason.
so all these new ideas i'm stumbling across are making my heart beat quickly.
get excited...you may just receive a simple little surprise from me in the near future.
LOVE!

the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.

i have a problem.
it seems that recently i've had a terrible habit of wasting time.
time that i could be spending working or catching up on school.
i've been thinking about this concept of "wasting time" a lot recently.
and i feel like this is way too subjective of a topic to be the same for everyone.
i've been comparing myself for much too long to people who are leading a much more demanding life than i.
i'm a student.
with at least 2 more years of this short part of my life to live out.
so, yes, thank you very much.
i will waste my time.
or at least to you it may seem that i am.
but this time that is being "wasted" is being spent doing things that you would never know about if you didn't ask.
i feel like my brain never rests.
there are constantly ideas popping into my head.
things i want to create.
things i want to write down and embroider later.
ideas of gifts i want to give people.
so i'm going to keep "wasting" my time.
would you like to waste some time with me?
who knows what kind of radiant nonsense we could be a part of.

let's get a silver bullet trailer...

i have a dreamy heart.
i realized this today while sitting in my classes...
i find myself trailing off...and random thoughts will pop into my head.
possibilities.
chances i could take.
words i could say.
places i could go.
houses that i could call home.
i've tried to write these things down...
keep track of my silly wandering thoughts.
maybe i should take more chances.
make these dreams a possible reality.
pray for my timid heart, maybe someday it's feet will be set to dancing.

this silly heart of mine...set to dancing.

i'm real excited about the way my heart feels right now.
after some much needed time with the Lord this morning, I feel refreshed.
and this refreshment is making my heart overflow.
can you see it in my face? can you hear it in my words?
the people walking by me on campus today probably thought me silly.
the girl strolling around with a ridiculous grin on her face...
that's me.
and it feels like home.
God's pursuit of my heart, even though i often find myself ignoring it, is mystifying.
i wish i could be as consistent of a lover of hearts as He is.
i'm learning though...and i hope what i'm learning soon becomes visible.
keep me accountable in this.
the joy that i am finding in this day is in the simplest of things.
i'm glad that i was given a heart that is easily set to dancing.

ten things that are making me dance with joy today:

1. professors wearing vests. (you classy man, you)
2. onest conversations
3. texting conversations with my brother (he hates texting, so for him to humor me for son long is wonderful)
4. seeing friends all around campus and being sure of their love
5. God's silly pursuit of my heart
6. my perfectly decorated chucks (thank you, dearest best friend)
7. thinking about the group of people at house church last night.
8. the promise of ice cream with friends tomorrow
9. professors that are excited about their job
10. new friendships.

it's like forgetting the words...to your favorite song.

my heart's beating in an awkward rhythm right now.
i think it's probably because i didn't eat between 8:30 and 3:30 today...
and the chocolate milk i just drank probably wasn't the best idea regarding my blood sugar.
that may be why my hands are shaking...ehh maybe.

i've decided that i do not give God enough credit.
these past few days have been a great reflection of how much God cares for my heart.
he has surrounded me with all these people that love me, for whatever reason.
so yes, i can say that I've seen God.
I see him in smiles, shared coffee and brownies, walks through the woods, homemade salsa, late night conversations and giggles.
my face is shining with the glory of Him in this day....
mmmmmhhhmmmm.

sparks.

my favorite part of pop-tarts is the crust, yep. it's true.
the middle has a tendency to be so grossly sweet...
but the crust on this cherry pop-tart that i'm nibbling on right now is just divine.
today is the first day of classes here at school, and although i very nearly skipped my management class to enjoy lunch with some friends, i think i will enjoy each of my classes.
that's a good feeling.
this magnificent monday started with some breakfast with friends.
the toaster oven didn't really do the cinnamon rolls justice, but the company was just what i needed.
i got to sit at a perfectly shaped tree for leaning against and journal...
mmmmm...
this day still has so much to offer, i just don't know if my heart can handle it.

you should know, today the song that i can't get out of my head is coldplay's "sparks" from probably their greatest album, parachutes.
i just can't shake it.
it's a haunting melody that has been following me around as i stroll through campus today.
sometimes i wish that the songs going sailing through my mind could be heard by everyone around me, it would be cause for some definite laughter and maybe even a disney-like choreographed dance every once in a while.
how wonderful that would be...

today i started a list of things i want to do and see in my life...
the top of the list was "see a redwood"..
coincidentally that's also the only thing on the list so far, i can't wait to see what this list will look like at the end of the semester...
maybe i'll even get to check some things off...
either way, i'll keep you posted.

"yeah...i saw sparks"

today was a day filled with good things.
sundresses.
leisurely strolls.
homemade salsa with friends
adventure to some greenhouses.
seeing a friend's eyes light up while talking about something that he's super excited about.
laughter with friends.
dance parties.
awkwardness.
taking yuri for a walk.
vanilla chai.
my heart is happy.
thank God for that.

just when i thought it couldn't get better...

my heart has been on a sort of high these past couple days.
i have been consistently surrounded by some of the most wonderful people i know.
family dinners, movie nights, baking cookies, and ridiculous amounts of laughter.
mmmmm...being content...refreshing.

i got to help with move-in yesterday.
i hadn't ever done this before, and admittedly i was a bit nervous.
i had so much fun though.
yesterday made it obvious to me how much i love being able to help people when they're in obnoxiously stressful situations.
and i got to see one of my most dear friends. he was helping move his girlfriend in, and my heart got an extra burst of energy just from seeing him.
the rain held off until we were leaving, which was wonderful...a good friend and i ended up seeking shelter in the architecture building for about a half hour...and had some good conversations. that was nice. i hope that happens again.

p.s. i finally got to see 500 days of summer last night!
it was better than i expected.
and i got to spin in my favorite chair.

how are you spending your week?
i hope your hearts been refreshed.

i'm back.
in muncie, that is.
it's been such a great few days back, some may even say it's been magical.
having a house is lovely.
had some friends over for lunch yesterday....microwavable manicotti and toaster oven brownies.
it made my heart smile so much.
there was so much laughter.
i could get used to this.
i've realized in the past couple days here though, that as great as it is that i get to be around all these beautiful people, it hurts a little that my Virginia Tech and Bowling Green loves are not here beside me as well.
this will take some getting used to.
my heart is stubborn...i may never get used to this.
but my family here at ball state is miracle material.
they pick up the slack when my silly heart and insecurities get the best of me.
you guys are truly the greatest group of friends i could've ever asked for.
you blow my mind every day.
i love you. so much.

a surprise of sorts.

i cannot stop listening to coldplay's X&Y
this may seem a silly thing to say.
you see, if you would've asked me how i felt about this certain coldplay album about 2 weeks ago i would've said it was dry and lacked musical appeal.
i have been caught off guard by it recently though.
and there is one song that is to blame for this.
i can't get it out of my head, so i'm sharing it with you.
maybe you'll find a new appreciation for this album as well.

A Message.

my song is love

love to the loveless shown

and it goes up

you don't have to be alone

your heavy heart is made of stone

and it's so hard to see you clearly

you don't have to be on your own

and i'm not gonna take it back

and i'm not gonna say i don't mean that

you're the target that i'm aiming at

got to get that message home

my song is love

my song is love, unknown

and i'm on fire for you, clearly

you don't have to be alone

you don't have to be on your own

and i'm not gonna stand and wait

not gonna leave it until it's much too late

on a platform i'm gonna stand and say

that i'm nothing on my own

and i love you, please come home.

hmmm..lovely, right?

p.s. i'll see you today, muncie. get excited.

there's a bird on my window sill.

today is a bit of a full day.
i'm taking a break from packing right now, listening to the new regina spektor.
and oh my...it's better than i expected.
high five regina, you once again did very well.

i've made more progress in packing than i assumed i would have.
so that's encouraging...but i still have quite the to do list today..
let's see...

• finish packing (yuck)
• finish painting my desk
• sand my chair.
• paint my chair
• put my new handlebar tape on
• finish my LT thank you notes...wow, way to procrastinate.
• finish embroidering some things.
• write some letters to beautiful people.

but it's a beautiful day today.
that means i'll be taking another packing break here soon to spend some time outside.
i can start my new journal today! eeekkk!
yes, it's a wonderful thursday.
please take the time to enjoy it! LOVE

you make my heart do silly things.

tomorrow i am on the look out.
the look out for a chair.
and not just any run of the mill, ordinary chair.
this chair has to be cheap, old and begging for a new paint job.
you see, i'm in the process of furnishing this new house at school.
my room has got to be a good reflection of me.
so first comes the chair, and then comes the desk.
that's how it works, right?
so i'm thinking about colors....
sky blue?
grass green?
eggplant?
either way...it will have new life in color...and then some flair.
i am oh so excited about this.

today i saw an old friend.
he is lovely.
and it was a surprise.
there were hugs and promises of visits in the near future.
this makes my heart dance, because i have so much to tell him.
we grew up together, he knows me better than most, and when i see him again after long periods of time i feel like there's no awkward lull, and that's why i love him.
i need to tell him that more, i need to tell everyone that more...
the reasons i love them that is.
i should start writing these things down, and sharing them.
right?

i learned a song on the ukulele.
my brother's being ever so patient in teaching me.
it's really exciting me to be playing music again.
...
my sister may not appreciate this as much.
she's had the (mis)fortune of me serenading her every move.
hmmm...
she's wonderful, my sister. you should meet her.
sometimes i think she's a better version of me.

paper fish.

i am a mess of clumsiness.
it's a bit ridiculous most of the time.
i have the scars, scrapes and bruises to prove it.
spend just 5 minutes with me and you will witness it.
my lack of grace. some may call it endearing...i just find that it makes for some decent stories.
i have realized recently though that this clumsiness surpasses being simply a physical trait...
i can be so clumsy with words...
when i'm nervous, even sometimes when i'm not...the things i say are messy and lack eloquence.
i can also by clumsy with other peoples' feelings.
and for that i'm sorry.
will you forgive me if i've been clumsy with your heart?
i know there are feelings that i've hurt, i hope that i can grow out of this clumsiness...
i'd like to keep my physical clumsiness though...humor.

something you should know about me is...

...
i fall in love on a daily basis.
i think sometime my heart may get tired of this.
and it isn't just with people.
i fall in love with places, ideas, dreams, anything really...
today there was so much, my veins are hiccupping from all the excitement.
i got to go shopping today ... window shopping really, with my mom and sister for house stuff.
during this adventure i fell in love with:

• my mom, and her honesty
• my sister, and her confusing nature
• being able to treat them both to lunch
• the contentment i feel when i'm with them
• the radio-flyer tricycle i found
• writing down quotes from people around us that my sister and i think are just too funny
• vintage sewing machines

something else you should know about me...i enjoy making lists.
i have a journal nearly full of them...
let's share lists sometime...what do you make lists of?

things i'm excited about:

• finding exciting treasures & making things to furnish my house with...
• coffee with beautiful people on wednesday
• going antiquing and goodwilling with my mom and sister!!!
• possibility of josh coming to visit!!!
• baking mini muffins
• my new idea journal
• the new baking blog i found...and am now a tad bit obsessed with.
• playing tennis with my family - this is especially fantastic because we are quite the unathletic and clumsy family....it's pretty humorous to watch, i bet.

things i miss:

• baking for my LT family
• holding hands
• late night talks on lifeguard stands
• walking on the beach at night
• night frisbee
• "tell me something wonderful"...
• basically all things LT....

my heart is a mix of emotions...

and then there was monday.

today has been a simple day.
but in that simplicity there has been so much beauty..
my heart nearly cannot contain it.
it was my second full day of being home from LT.
my heart is aching...there are so many people that i miss so much.
i've never felt this way before.
it hasn't even been a week...
there are already promises of visits and picnics, and holding hands, and coffee, and baking together.
i can't help but marvel at God's imagination when i interact with these glorious people i got to spend a summer with.
He is just so good at doing what he does...uggg.

but back to today.
i ventured to muncie with my mom and sister, ran some errands, ate some panera, wandered around, payed my rent.
my heart missed muncie, this surprised me when i realized it.
this evening i got coffee with my best friend...and by got coffee i mean we were there until they kicked us out because they were closing...so then we made our way to the park, where we sat for another nearly 2 hours and talked about life...
it is wonderful...having someone that understands me so well...
we didn't even scratch the surface of what God has taught both of us so far this summer...
so many more hours are needed to get through all that these past 10 weeks have contained.
this week holds so many more promising events...
helping my mom snazzify her library for the new school year...
coffee with friends...(no you can never have too much of this)
riding my bike to camp to visit some beautiful people...
going to indy to see my dear friend eleanor...and wander around with bekah
picnics...croquet...ugg any number of wonderful things could happen this week..
yes, this week is something to get excited about.
make the most of it, mkay?

barefoot in D.C.

project day #9 was spent in washington d.c. and i couldn't have been more excited.
my heart feels at home in big cities, so ever since i first heard rumor that we would be venturing there my pulse had been quickening.
and it once again reminded me why i would very much like to spend my life in a city very much like itself.
the day started early with a 4-hour drive ahead of us...which ended up being beka, betsy, layne and i sleeping while freddie drove (i still feel bad about this)
the majority of our day was spent at a salvation army where we put on a little car wash to raise money for the chapel.
it was way more fun than i had originally imagined it would be. i found that i enjoy vacuuming cars, so if you ever need someone to make your car floors presentable, hit me up.
around 5 we moved onto the metro station and rode it into the city where we had the opportunity to share some food with the park dwellers.
i still find it mildly ironic that our nations capital is one of the most homeless populated cities in our country...you can tell alot about a nation by looking at it's poor...way to go U.S.. way to step up to the plate.
i can't really rant about the speck in our nation's eye though, because i'm definitely enabling the problem...ugggg...my selfishness rears it's ugly little head again.

aside from all this...it was a rainy day in our nation's capitol.
when we got back to the smithsonian metro i was able to wring the water out of my shirt.
and as much as i hate wet clothes, i was not upset, because that day had been perfect in so many ways.
once again, i am in love with these people that i have spent my summer with.
and i haven't done a very good job of letting them know that, and today i will change that, i'm writing letters to them all...it's hard for my heart to contain all this.

i love you.
and i will leave you with this...
enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

i am a horribly selfish person.
my heart is hurting right now just thinking of my actions sometime.
in my skewed attempt to guard my heart i seem to have completely disregarded anyone else's feelings.
ugg...i'm sorry if i've made your heart ache.
i'm sorry if i have been unkind.
forgive me, because i can be so ignorant of my own silly selfishness.
i want to tell you, really i do...silly insecurities.
my heart is growing tired, about as tired as my body feels right now...
i wonder if my actions have discouraged you, i hope not.
maybe the newness of tomorrow will change things.
i sure hope so...
again, please forgive me.

sand. everywhere.

my head is swimming today...
so many things i could possibly say...
sometimes i feel like my posts get much too wordy.
i'm sorry if what i say sometimes doesn't make sense.
but maybe i'll make you smile along the way...
speaking of smiles, here's some of what is making me smile today.

• holding babies (especially when they smell like sunscreen). this may sound semi-creepy, but whatev. you know you love it too
• holding hands.
• peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.
• the "where the wild things are" preview that i saw last night.
• neville longbottom's sweater vests.
• cardigans with jorts.
• oversized beach towels
• starbucks with my life group.

i have so much joy in this silly heart of mine today.
my eyelids are heavy with the sleepiness that i feel, but hopefully the smile is still shining in my eyes.

LOVE.

you bring me closer to love.

i feel like this past week has been so full.
...of life
...of love
...of frustration
...of excitement.
there are so many things i could tell you.
so many new friendships, sometimes it's overwhelming.
all of these hearts that i care so much about, i don't want the next three weeks to pass.
i wouldn't mind staying here for always.
one day i will write to you a list of things i will miss about this summer, but for now i will tell you of the greatness of the past few days.

yesterday, after getting back from work where i basically just hung out with freddie all day, i came home to my housemates, and their smiles. i love being welcomed back after being gone at work. we giggled, had a bit of a dance party, waited impatiently to see how the coloring of layne's hair would turn out and just sat together. before dinner, i changed into my new dress (i wish i could describe to you how perfect this dress is...you may find that real silly, but ooofff, you should see it) and layed around the couch with karin. we talked about how hard it is for us to emotionally disconnect from some songs. we let billy joel sing away the sadness in our eyes.
at session we were blessed by neil kring's rendition of journey's "faithfully"...thank God for that. ha. after session we came back to our house and ate ice cream (it's kind of just our thing)...with peanut butter and cereal. you don't even know how much i appreciate the people i'm living with and their love for strange food combinations along with me.

monday was my day off. it started off early. 6am for sunrose devotional. this was my first time attempting to participate in this, but i'm so glad i did. it was a great way to start the day. after this me, da-vid, and tricia headed back to my place and talked while pancakes were being made. josh came over later and we all had a wonderful pancake breakfast together. (if you didn't know, sharing breakfast with others is one of my very favorite things to do, so my heart was all kinds of happy) we then proceeded to laze around and just 'soak up each others' awesomeness' [mean girls reference].

now there is today. i don't work 'til 4...so i am left with so many possibilities for the morning.
i have decided to: go running, get some coffee, spend some much needed time with God and get pumped about working tonight....(right).
let's enjoy this day together, mkay?

in this day...

i like:

• surprises from friends (especially coffee...my heart jumped a little when i found it)
• the wallflowers
• dinner invitations
• dinosaurs
• getting off work an hour early

i do not like:

• how timid i am
• the distance between me and my family right now
• holding back
• when people are ocd
• the ankle bracelet of mosquito bites i have right now.

but guess what....this day is more than all those things.
and for that i am so grateful.
my joy is overflowing.

my ten favorite things...at this place in time.

10. bike rides. while wearing a sundress. to get a coffee. and spending many moments writing a letter.

9. hugs. any kind, really. bear hugs. side hugs. awkwardly long hugs.
i had been really missing these, thankfully my family here at LT has filled my hug void.

8. running in the park. i ran to a new spot today...i had to stop and just wonder at it. i thought it had such beautiful possibilities. a picnic?

7. looking at wedding photos. (oncewed.com) despite my fear of marriage i love sharing in the joy of a newly married couple...oh giggles and giddiness

6. loving someone so much that their interests and desires become mine.

5. picnics. on the beach. with root beer and friends. knowing that in that moment there was nowhere else i would rather be.

4. holding sleepy babies (if you know me you know this is huge for me, i have a bit of a fear of children)

3. the blueberry bagel i'm eating for lunch right now, with peanut butter and bananas. and strawberries and blueberries..yummmmm

2. late night hookah cirlces with people i love. i think i admire these people more and more everytime i'm with them. those are moments that i wouldn't mind pausing and living in forever.

1. receiving letters in the mail. and sending snail mail....hint hint :)

i received a compliment last night.
a compliment that didn't make me feel awkward at all (usually i get really uncomfortable when people compliment me)
but instead it made my little heart dance a jig.
you see, yesterday before boredom hit i decided to bake some peanut butter cookies.
this decision was entirely based on the fact that our house has a 6 pound jar of peanut butter, and i figured i should assist in the using up of it.
so i baked these cookies, because that's what i do, i bake so i can give the goods to other people, because truly i don't like eating cookies and cupcakes, i just like seeing other peoples' faces light up when they're offered one.
anyways...
last night i was walking back to my house and met up with one of my housemates.
she proceeded to tell me that the cookies i made were delicious, and when i said thank you she said, "no you aren't letting me finish"...and she proceeded to say..."so i took a bite of one and thought...what is different about these cookies? their too soft to be store bought, but they're too perfectly shaped to not be store bought. and then i remembered that you are planning on opening a bakery. and then it all made sense"
this may seem to you to be a trivial mesh of words, but it was music to my ears.

happiest of mondays to you?
what are you thankful for today?
i'm real thankful that i have the day off!!! picnic with people i love, it's going to be so many kinds of wonderful.

if grace is an ocean...we're all drowning.

i'm on a bit of a josh garrels kick here recently.
i just can't stop listening to 'zion & babylon'....mmmhhhmmm.
one of my housemates made fortune cookies yesterday.
and i'm still impressed by it.
she was so modest about it, but it may have very well been the coolest thing someone has ever made for me.
i finally got to experience the abbey road pub yesterday, it was made even more enjoyable by the beautiful people i was sharing a meal with.
i am in love.
with these people.
with this grace.
with their laughter.
uggg...the fact that the summer is halfway over makes me very very sad.

i've recently acquired a pen pal.
he's real great.
it kind of makes me feel like i'm in elementary school again.
what a great feeling.

last night at work i spilled a beer...on my feet.
now my shoes smell like landshark....blarg.
couldn't it have at least been blue moon?

i think....

hello dear friends!
how are you on this fine june day? i hope you are smiling, with lightness in your eyes.
i wish i could recount every detail from this past week to you, and explain to you the deepness of the joy that it made me feel...but we would be here for hours.
and hours my friend, can be better spent on something else.
my very best friend came to visit at the beginning of the week...i think my heart may still be smiling from that.
i feel so at peace with her. knowing that i could do or say anything, and i would not be judged. that giggling and maybe not even saying a word could be the time of our life.
we shared secrets, coffee, a bike ride, smiles and our most recent stories.
i hope that you too have a friend like this.
i hope that we can some day be friends like this.
let's do that, mkay?

fast forward to today.
it was so muggy this morning, making my run a little less than fun.
after a quick shower and some fellowship with a housemate i headed off on a bike ride, with dreams of a lovely cup of coffee in my head.
the boardwalk is a bustle of activity with the boardwalk art show today.
so after some coffee and reading i headed out to experience the excitement for myself.
it was beautiful, all those people, with the sun on our shoulders, brushing against each other filled with quick heart beats from seeing images that stir us.
i like it when so many human stories collide at one point, it can be a bit overwhelming.
i thrive in situations like this.
thank God for crowds.

oh my.

i've been no good at updating this recently.
it seems that there just aren't words perfect enough to describe my most recent days to you.
i wish you could just be here beside me, experiencing everything.
as i type this it is storming like there's no tomorrow here in virginia beach.
there's actually a tornado warning....hhmmmppph.
we watched the lightening over the ocean for a bit, until my little heart got scared from the nearness of the storm and i frighteningly scampered back to shelter.
i feel like my days have been so packed recently...
packed in a delightful way, but leaving me with little time to collect my thoughts.

i hope this reaches you...someday.

dearest friend,
as i sit here nibbling at some cereal i realized there are some things i should tell you.
you have been so much more than i deserve. the grace you extend to me daily has not gone unnoticed, i promise you that, even when i seem distant and clueless. i know that i don't tell you enough how much you mean to me. your friendship is so encouraging to me. your smile makes me know that there's no reason to get so down.
giggling with you is by far my favorite thing. wasting time by your side even makes me feel like i've accomplished something. i wish all relationships came this naturally.
i'm sorry for all the temper tantrums, complaints, and confusing glances.
i am imperfect, but you know that and seem to be more than okay with it.
i have learned so much from you. thank you for teaching me things, even though you may be unaware that you are doing just that.
i think i'm growing up. and i hope part of this is that i become less selfish.
then maybe i'll be able to tell you these things to your face, instead of vaguely addresing you, worrying about what it may do to my pride.
but your's is the kindest smile, and despite what the knot in my stomach tells me, you would not reject my words.
even now i can't wait for the next time that i can lazily sit with you and shoot the breeze.
let's drink tea and make breakfast together every day for the rest of our lives?
mkay?

with more love than i can manipulate words to tell,
~katie

sometimes my heart feels so heavy. such has been the case this evening.
i would be lying if i said i didn't know the cause of this heaviness.
it's selfish how i let these feelings determine my actions, so selfish, and i need to grow up.
i miss the people that i could sit down, have some tea with and lay my heart out on the table.
i need someone here right now to sit with me as i whine with tears in my eyes and reassure me... then tell me what i need to hear.
that's what i need...
someone to tell me what i need to hear.
it's what i need...but do i really want that?

we talked about silence today.
the importance of it, and then we practiced it.
i do not have trouble being quiet, not talking.
but being silent, clearing my head, is so difficult for me.
i'm so selfish, i always have something going through my head.
a half hour was not enough, i need about an hour just to calm my heart down.
this is going to take practice....

the sun...it rose...once again.

i feel like i haven't updated in a while...

and i feel like there is lots that i could fill you in on, but i'm having trouble arranging my words.

no, no, no...i just don't have words to arrange, that's the problem.

hmm...i had my first day off yesterday (other than project days) and that was beautiful.

layne and i had a ridiculous time...it only could've been made better if the final countdown had been on repeat as background music.

we baked pancake muffins...with peanut butter/nutella filling! and yes, they were as delightful as they sound.

i get so excited when i get to bake with friends...eeek!

last night at session we talked about the 'Desert Fathers'

a.k.a. those fellas that ventured to the desert driven by a desperation for spirituality.

this discussion touched on the topic of simplicity.

this is something that i desire so much...but my selfishness keeps getting in the way.

praying for simplicity...that's what i be doin' this week.

so i'm reading blue like jazz...again.

i very nearly envy donald miller's writing.

it's so...simple...see there i go again. silly simplicity.

anyways...i'm reading the chapter on romance, and of course he has some gentle wit to impart to us...

i find this section highly amusing...

"i think if you like somebody you have to tell them. it might be embarassing to say it, but you will never regret stepping up. i know from personal experience, however, that you should not keep telling a girl that you like her after she tells you she isn't into it. you should not keep riding your bike by her house either."

doesn't that make you giggle...the second part anyways.

the first part just makes me think...i'm not real good at imparting my feelings to those around me. confronting issues like that is just too messy for me...i wish i was better at telling people how much they mean to me.

i feel like i say that all the time.

hmmm....i guess that's something to think about for the day...

unfinished thoughts..if only i could fill in the blanks.

i like:
seeing people smile.
playing in the rain.
friends.
singing "my girl"
breakfast for dinner.
being surprised by people.

today was filled with all of these things.
my heart is overflowing with the goodness of God in this day.
i am so thankful for the people that i am surrounded by this summer.
they blow me away.

i realized today that i get ridiculously excited about semi-silly things.
hmmmph. how obnoxious of me.
sorry if i bother you in my excitement.
my heart is still skipping a beat.
there is so much comfort in that smile.

everything about being with you is...just so easy.

i'm no good at this blogging thing.
i feel like i write so much, but still manage to say so little.
i like to dance around with my words...maybe it makes me think i still have some secrets i can keep.
hmmm...

i talked to my best friend on the phone a couple nights ago.
that was nice...i like hashing through all the stuff going through my head with her.
i miss having conversations face to face about stuff like this.
sometimes stuff is too deep to talk about over the phone...

we had our monday night session last night. (obviously)
which is definitely a good thing...i was nearly running on empty the last couple days.
it was a nice re-charge.
but the message felt like it was directed right at me.
it skimmed over some stuff that i feel is probably one of my greatest struggles.
we started in luke 9 when Jesus is sending out the disciples...
with the kicker (for me anyways) that they are to basically go without any provision for themselves.
i tend to surround myself with material things...a security blanket of sorts..
but in matthew...when there's talk of not needing to be anxious, because if God keeps watch over all these small things, he will protect you too.
one phrase jumped out at me...and i still can't get it out of my head...
"consider the lilies of the field , how they grow; they neither toil nor spin..."
just a little something to think about for the day...
so keep your head up, don't toil or spin...i'm right here with you. we can hold hands.

everybody wants to be somebody fancy.

is it really sunday?

that's a little hard for me to believe.

it's only been a week, but i can already feel my heart changing.

i like that feeling.

it's been hard for me to stop smiling (for a number of reasons) but i could definitely get used to that.

work yesterday was a bit rough. the girl i was supposed to be serving with called in, so i had the inside restaurant all to myself. nearly overwhelming, but God has a stellar way of calming my uneasy heart.

the evening completely made up for my day frustration, though.

i went to a matt nathanson concert with karin and alana. fun fun fun!

and then got some ben & jerry's. what a great dinner, right?

the night was made complete though with some beach time with 3 pretty great friends.

the beach at night is so great....mmmm.

i don't work 'til 4 today, so my morning has been pretty chill thus far.

rode my bike on the boardwalk (my heart swells with every smile i catch)

stopped at starbucks for some quiet time and a green tea latte.

how are you spending your morning?

i hope it makes you smile.

hmm...i want.

my heart is speaking quicker than my lips.

i went on a bike ride this morning.
it was wonderful.
so wonderful, in fact, that i could not stop smiling.
i like being out semi-early in the morning here at virginia beach.
all the ummmm..."seniors" for lack of a better term... are out, walking their dogs, walking with friends and they're just so...pleasant.
i want to grow old like them...they give me hope.
getting "old" has always been quite scary to me...
but these people are beautiful...
on my bike ride i stopped at this adorable little coffee shop...kind of hidden in a strip mall.
i had one of the greatest vanilla lattes i've ever tasted.
i think i'm gonna try to frequent this place.
i haven't had coffee in a week..it was a wonderful reunion.

grow sideburns.

so today was our first 'project day'.

with my lack of expectations going into the day, i would say it definitely is ending as a success.

started off with some tasty pancakes provided by the staff.

continued at the beach (where i somehow managed to burn only my left lower leg...awesome?)

some lunch with my housemates...have i told you how great they are?

you should meet them.

then some evangelism training....interesting.

i don't think the word 'evangelism' leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth anymore.

then back for some dinner of homemade pizza with my house...and it was some of the greatest pizza i've ever had...let me tell you.

mmmmhhhmmm.

i got to hang out with some pretty neat guys this evening.

that was nice...a good change of pace, it aleviated a bit of how much i miss my brother.

i started to really miss my friends back home for the first time today...hhhmmmppphhh.

my heart was a bit sad for a while...but we're all good now.

now i get to look forward to a run in the morning, and some coffee... wooohoooo.

in the meantime you should check marc johns out...

here's a little taste.

wednesday has a way with me.

people make me happy.

i'm steadily realizing this more and more.

whether they mean to or not, there's always a little something that makes me smirk.

you should keep your eyes open...you never know what you'll encounter.

i am quickly falling in love with my housemates here at LT.

they are all just so many kinds of fantastic.

i'm glad we all got stuck together.

after grocery shopping...karin, katie d. and me came home to find that cookies were just freshly baked...and that is quite possibly one of the greatest smells to ever bless my little nose.

unfortunately...having a job makes me think that i now have a right to spend money...

erk. i wish my mind didn't automatically think this..

but this camera is just all sorts of tempting. (via urbanoutfitters.com)

some things...

i was told something wonderful today.

i'm still running over it in my head.

...

my hearts in all sorts of places right now.

silly heart, sit still for a second.

i like my job. so far anyways.

giving kids ice cream and charging it to their parents' account is a pretty comical task..to me anyways.

i get to ride my bike to work tomorrow, i'm all kinds of excited about this.

seeing all the people on their bikes around the beach makes my feet antsy for pedals.

i wish it was easier for me to put how i feel into words.

hmm...for now, just know...this pictures makes me giggle.

from http://overflowing.tumblr.com/

it's true...

from: galadarling

so...i thought i wasn't a beach person.

i was very wrong...

somtimes being wrong is a great thing.

i ran the board walk last night with some new virginia tech friends.

and i finally found someone that runs at my pace...so high five for that.

we were both pretty excited about it.

weaving in and out of groups of people strolling along, with all the night lights on around us...it was all kinds of wonderful, and i look forward to many more of these.

i've got sunshine...

oh my word.
i was such an 12-year-old girl yesterday, and it was fantastic.
another day with a best friend made for a giddiness in my heart that i'm still feeling.
we jumped on the trampoline (in a dress, mind you)
baked cupcakes for some friends
rocked the drums on rock band
rode bikes and visited our old elementary school.
strangely it looks much smaller than it used to...hmm
we felt a bit like alice in her little wonderland.
overall it was a day for the books.
i'm experiencing grace and love this week like i've never felt before.
sunshine does great things...ya know?

oh. p.s. on a whim yesterday i purchased the new mewithoutyou album, "It's All Crazy! It's All False! It's All a Dream! It's Alright!"
they've outdone themselves. i keep listening to it, over and over again.
and i'm going to continue to listen to it as i sit outside, finishing up some bracelets...mmmmm

signature of divine

do you ever have those days that you wish could just last forever?
...
these past couple days have been full of moments that i wouldn't have minded freezing and revelling in.
starting with seeing some of the greatest people i know on saturday night.
i like sitting back and seeing how different everyone is that God has put together to make up my second family.
my heart can't contain it.

sunday was perfect in so many ways.
mini road trip in the ridiculous deisel truck with two lovely friends.
a community that gave me hope.
laughter...and a strange enjoyment of the country music arin sang.
holding hands, praying before lunch...mmmmm. (nothing makes me feel at home like that does)
croquet again with the family...i know, ridiculous.
being able to make my brother laugh (i feel like i'm legitimately funny when he laughs at my "wit"...thanks for humoring me, brian)
a full night's sleep.

and then there was today.
and i'm sitting here now with sunburnt shoulders
...the promise of freckles on my nose
...freshly baked banana bread
...grandma's blueberry pancakes
...sore legs from an evening bike ride.

life is good. remember to live it, mkay?

sometimes i meet people that amaze me.
people that live out what they believe, drawing you in with their passion.
today i met one of these people.
his name is heath and he spoke the good news beautifully.
i went to church with my best friend today at her church in huntington.
the 509.
and i couldn't stop smiling.
it's hard to explain, i so wish you could've been there.
i wish you could've heard the message.
simple messages always get me.
repentance. freedom. bondage.
it was a heavy morning, but it was exactly what i needed to hear.
i wish i could be in community with the 509 every sunday morning this summer...
but...
just know...
you cannot be free while oppressing someone else...

i can't stop thinking about this.
i pray that i won't stop thinking about this.

love you way more than i know how to...

just got back from coffee with a friend.
i like being forced to reflect on the year.
i never realize how much i've changed 'til i relay my life to someone i haven't seen since january.
i'm glad i'm not who i was in august.
change has done well by me.

come down from the mountain, you have been gone too long.

summer break... started with a bang, i guess?
my first night home i got to spend with 4 of my closest friends.
we somehow ended up at steak 'n shake with one of the greatest waiters i've ever had.
i love seeing people at work when they like their job, it's encouraging.
thank you, mystery waiter. you are a diamond in the rough.
we continued our evening at kaeleigh's house, where we attempted to watch "father of the bride" - one of my favorites...but i didn't even stay awake long enough to see martin short... disappointing, but not surprising for you that know me well.
we made banana pancakes the next morning (and pretended like it was the weekend, see what i did there?) ... my heart gets all excited when i get to make breakfast with people i love.

mother's day was a success.
brian seemed to be over his "swine flu" - at least my mom was convinced he had it.
so the day was full of giggling, picture taking and other relative nonsense that ensues whenever we all are together.
my family is pretty bithcin'.
you should know that.

monday was a full day.
tree of life in the morning with my lovely mom, coffee and tea, and faster internet.
walmart had a bundle of fabric on sale...i spent too much money, but i'm excited to make stuff.
yesterday started my summer habit of making and drinking lemonade like it's oxygen.
is it just me or does summer make everyone else want to drink lemonade from a floral pitcher.
in the evening i convinced my sister and mum to go on a bike ride, i'm so persuasive.

today has been a lazy day.
i did do some laundry and hang it out on the clothesline, that was fun.
probably one of the few things i enjoy about living in the country.
i've been spending most of my day reading this book that my sister got me hooked on, "The Mysterious Benedict Society".
i love having time to read. i have a pile of books i need to dive into...
so on that note, i'm heading outside to read.
enjoy the sun. mkay?

...and the worry if laughter is on your lips...

my heart's all a-flutter.
finals are complete.
i don't think i've ever studied such a small amount for finals before.
never again will i be so dismissive with it...hopefully.
all that's left to do is pack (gross), work, and be with friends.

this morning i was getting my stuff together for work
only to realize that i left my shirt at home when i did my laundry this weekend.
awesome.
go me.

please don't tire of me talking about him...
but i'm listening to "funeral dress" by w.fitzsimmons.
i would so very much like to see him play live.
maybe someday...
but for now...
...
"i can wait for you....."

enjoy the day.
do something ridiculous, because it's thursday, and that's what thursday's for, right?

i didn't want to wake you up, but i really wanted to show you something...

so...i'm supposed to be finishing up my written final for social work...but...
i can't focus, again.
i keep watching the trailer for "where the wild things are"..
i may be more excited about that than i am for harry potter...just maybe.
my eyes keep drifting closed...i may still be a bit asleep.
maybe i'll take a nap today, that would just be wonderful, especially if it starts raining.
i was trying to find something to write about, to consume more time that could be used to study.. and while looking at one of my favorite blogs just now..
i think i may have found something...

twenty things that make me oh-so-happy.
(in no specific order)
1. coffee in goodwill mugs.
2. rainy day naps.
3. holding hands.
4. wearing a dress while being barefoot.
5. learning how to sew from my grandma. she may be what i will miss most this summer. i wish i could just carry her around with me and introduce her to everyone i meet. she's just fabulous. i so badly want to be like her.
6. wasting time with my friends.
7. hearing my friends talk about what they've been learning. i like seeing the sparkle in their eyes.
8. taking pictures...memory making.
9. william fitzsimmons' voice...i feel like i ramble on about him way too much, but it's only because i want to convince you to like him as much as i do...
10. making people smile.
11. making lists
12. boys that play the harmonica, cello or piano
13. sharing oranges...:)
14. picnics
15. puppies.
16. breakfast with people i love
17. making pancakes for my friends
18. brightly colored kitchens
19. watching musicals with my sister.
20. embroidery, sewing machines and trying to knit.

and we will put the lonesome on the shelf...

you're highly inconvenient.
you should know that...God has a funny way of choosing the inconvenient ones.
gah. this is not what i meant...

one of my best friends got a dog this weekend.
i'm in love. and i may steal it.

yesterday i stumbled upon william fitzsimmon's new video for "if you would come back home"
oooffffffff. i like being surprised by things. how wonderful.
i also heard ingrid michaelson's "you and i" for the first time and i cannot stop listening to it.
with clever lines like "but baby how we spoon like no one else"
how could you not smirk..

this week i've found it's much more important to me to be with my friends than study.
seeing as how my accounting final (my most important) is tomorrow this may prove to be a bad idea.
ahh well. i would much rather make memories than look over notes.

one of my brother's good friends got married this weekend.
the pictures made me swoon.
me oh my.

apron friday?

oh.

my.

word.

this apron from anthropologie is outstanding.

hmmm.

the tea cups..

do you see them?

it's nearly perfect.

nearly.

that secret that you know, but you don't know how to tell.

i think my heart breaks everytime i listen to bon iver...
i like it when music does that to me.
thank you, sir iver, for doing what you do. (as if you would see this)

today has been good.
there was no nap, and i didn't get to have coffee with my best friend.
but i laughed 'til there were tears and was loved like there was no tomorrow.
i don't want this year to end...

i wish i wrote like my friend kay.
she leaves room for your imagination to fill in the blanks.
i like having friends that use their gifts.
it's pretty top o' the line.

i looked at a picture today...
from a couple years ago.
my heart didn't feel the same, i think that's a good thing.
i think this is over. and that's good.

good morning, friday. nice to see you.

i think that possibly, maybe i'm falling for you.

i'm wearing a headband that a friend made today by cutting off a sleeve of his shirt.
it's working more effectively than most headbands i have.
maybe i'll start buying more men's shirts at goodwill for the sole purpose of making headbands with them...hmm...

yesterday at work my boss got us all popsicles because it was steamy over at the student center
and these weren't just any popsicles.
they were popsicles with jokes on the stick.
would you like to hear one? of course you would.
andy found this one...
"how did the telephone ask his girlfriend to marry him?"
"he gave her a ring"
oh me oh my. it doesn't get much better than that does it.

i think tonight may be a late night for me...
that would be okay with me if i was spending it with friends, passing the time with nonsense, but i'm working on homework...bah.
i'm nearly tempted to see if anyone wants to make a starbucks run, i'd like a green tea latte to go with my accounting, but that would just keep me from doing the work that so badly needs to be done...hhmmmpphh.

i'm heading home this weekend (saturday) to move some stuff home and see my sister's musical.
she's put so much work into this and she gets to sing ... in front of people... instead of in the shower or to the steering wheel...she's so much more brave than i'll ever be.
oh little sister, you are more wonderful than you'll ever know.

...but having seen and greeted them from afar...

i would very much like to be able to do this...

papercutting is just so delicate...hmmm.
check out ryantown for more quality work. i have a bit of a design crush on him.

have you heard?
this is the last full week of classes. nonsense.
hmm. i'm still not sure how i feel about this. is this year truly almost over?
where did it go?
it's disappointing to me how little i took advantage of the opportunities before me...
i guess there's always next year, right?
i hate saying that, though.
how about there's always tomorrow...that's more appealing to me.

so i started embroidering little notes to people.
i think i like doing that...a whole lot.
and i think i may embroider valentines for next year.
it makes me giggle just to think of the possibilities.

p.s. jeremy larson is singing me to sleep right now when i should be getting ready for work. oh no.

p.s.s. i want to make stuff like this all the time....for rlz.

now all your love is wasted...

i realized this week that i miss hugs.

my friend andrew gave the best hugs...

and i can't travel to purdue for the sole purpose of receiving one of these hugs.

i don't think i give anyone here at school hugs.

it's quite sad.

i think i should change that.

and since there's only two weeks of school left i guess i'll just be on a hugging rampage.

hmm...i think i like the sound of that.

p.s. listening to bon iver might be a good idea...just sayin'.

21 for the 21st.

21. i have a decent amount of stuff (homework, LT support letters, a letter to a friend) that i need to complete tonight....hmmmmph. maybe i'll actually get all of that done?

20. i realized today that i'm holding a grudge against a professor. it's making my heart hurt. i feel like i should apoligize to her, even though she doesn't know about it. i hate the way grudges make me feel.

19. i wish i was more creative...

18. even though i knew there were only a few weeks until school was out for the semester, the reality only really hit me today. i'm not quite sure how i feel about the summer yet...but i don't have much time to worry about it.

17. i have a friend that's moving to china next year. i get more sad everytime i think about it...i wish oceans were only as big as they looked on maps.

16. i've kinda really been wanting a dog for a while, despite the impossibility of me having one. but yesterday i found a newfoundland on craig's list...how could this not be fate?

15. sometimes i surprise myself...a few days ago was one of these times

14. i'm becoming increasingly obsessed with this blog.

i love how candid he is. hhhmmmmppphhhh.... someday

13. do you ever have a secret you really want to share with someone, but the one person you want to tell turns out to be the one person you can't share that secret with....

bahhh.

12. these cake stands make me oh so happy... i think i'll probably just make one...eeeekkkk.

11. i had a friend tell me yesterday that he wants to spend some time living as a hobo. i think that's real neat...it made my heart jump a little.

10. this movie trailer gives me butterflies...

9. i have a pile of books that are calling my name...and i really want to read them... but silly school work is getting in the way again.

8. i think i fall more in love with my friends every day...

7. i've been listening to landon pigg's "falling in love at a coffee shop" over and over again... ridiculous. it's just such an addictive little tune.

6. spending time with my brother last friday was wonderful. he's such a great big brother, i'm glad that even though we don't see eye-to-eye on some things he is still encouraging me to pursue what is important to me.

5. i got to hang out with some beautiful people last night...i'm glad i choose friends over homework sometimes (okay...most of the time.)

4. i would really like to own a photo booth....just sayin'

3. this picture makes my heart do all kinds of silly things

2. i rented a movie called "rocket science" yesterday...just at random..i'm excited to try it out this week.

1. i've spent entirely too long on here...sorry again.

This monkey has eyebrows.
it's stinkin' adorable.
look at it...

for real....

i want to go to a zoo. now.

it's a "they might be giants" kind of day.

"it's friday...i'm in love..."
maybe not, but don't days like this just make you want to sing right along with the cure?
this week has been leagues better than last week.
i still need to do dishes though. hmm.
my brother is coming to visit this evening. so that'll be fun.
not real sure what the plans are...but it'll be a mess of frisbee, possible trip to hardin's, goodwill, movie, and trivial pursuit.
he's bringing my keyboard up...so i have a feeling tomorrow when i should be doing homework, i'll be attempting to teach myself some music. that'll be interesting/comical.
i've been listening to a lot of billy joel recently. the combination of the ivories and his velvety voice...hmmm. makes me a little sleepy.
i've been falling asleep to amos lee this week...that's been nice.
what have you been humming along to this week?
maybe you have some new music suggestions for me?
i'd love to hear them.
ah well. i should probably clean up my room a bit, it's bordering on disgusting. so please enjoy this sublime day, mkay?

oh. p.s. i printed off my new embroidery patterns!!!!
and i'm real excited to use them, so if you'd like me to glam something up for you just let me know.
LOVE.

step into my office...

as i'm listening to belle & sebastian...avoiding the homework that needs to be completed soon so i can get some shut-eye...i can't help but stumble back to this.
i just have a treasure that i would like to share with you.
i found this wonderful t-shirt printing company that i can't get enough of...i think i would very much like to have one of all their shirts...you should take a look for yourself..
www.thesmashsite.com
i pinky swear you won't regret taking a look.

hmmm...on that note...

skipping stone.

do you ever find yourself looking at others' pictures and see yourself living their life?
maybe this is just me...and my dreamy existence that i tend to lead in my little subconscious.
i do this pretty often with these:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elsiecake/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/land_camera
i don't know what it is...the pictures just seem to depict a life so much more exciting than my own...
i guess i just need to stop envying these lives and start living my own...maybe then i'll have some splendid photos to share...ah well.

this past week my dearest friend, bekah, came to visit and it was a great end to a horrible week.
this plus a house church passover celebration, hookah at the mt cup, learning some chords on the guitar (kind of a big deal for me), and laughter was all i needed to forget the stress that had been dragging me down all week.
after skipping all my classes on friday, to get some breakfast, take a test, and pack, bekah and i headed back home for an easter weekend with our families.
on the trip home i was introduced to tractor supply co. and was tempted to buy some baby ducks...my lack of a proper home for them shot this idea down pretty quick, but oh my word, how darling they were.
i got to do my months worth of laundry at home...FOR FREE!, giggle with my sister, fall asleep watching movies with my mom, and beat my brother at mariokart for the first time. all in all it was a great little break from school.
i'm all refreshed and ready for a new week...at least i think so.
we'll find out i guess.

oh and p.s. i forgot how much of a crush i had on paul dano.
...my memory is being stirred.

vitamin c drop, anyone?

ugggghhhh. being sick is no fun.
i've blown my nose a ridiculous amount of times today. gross.
i guess this is what i get for calling in "sick" to work yesterday. oh well.
it's still beautiful outside today...i'm still warring with myself on whether i should stay in and sleep...blowing my nose at 5 minute intervals...drinking tea all day...watching movies that i've seen too many times..
or should i be outside? i do have some errands i could run.
hmm. tempting. of course the lack of a car sometimes puts a stop to errand running.
there is an abundance of homework, taxes, support raising, etc. that i could be trying to complete today...i guess i could be productive today.

p.s. i'm moving to austin, texas.
because of this...http://www.clementinecoffeebar.com/
that's a valid reason right?
on a more serious note, though. a friend came to town yesterday and over dinner we discussed our mutual growing frustration with school. and if you didn't know, over the past year i've been stewing over the idea of taking a year off from school. now i can't stop thinking about it...hmm... who knows. (west, anyone?)

it's trivial...really.

i have a runny nose. i'm beginning to think it's a little more than allergies, just avoiding the possibility of a sinus infection...i probably should've purchased some kleenexes today...ah well.

recently i've developed a love for trivial pursuit. we tend to not play by the rules, but i get so impressed by the other people playing and their knowledge of trivial things...hence the name...creative, right?

you should try listening to "the submarines"...they're pretty catchy, if you're into that kind of thing.

i think i would like to go home for easter weekend...i miss my family. and i would like to get my blue teacup..

i still haven't sent in my taxes.

10 things that are making me smile today.

or....i am trying, once again, to avoid studying.

10. my "new" camera...that i just cannot wait to get the film out of. i needs to use it up.

9. my french press just supplied me with a delightful cup of coffee.

8. the prospect of friends coming to visit me for the next couple weekends. (eeeekk- as i squeak with excitement).

7. i get to be creative...making notebooks and letters for various friends of mine this week. even though i have plenty of homework i could be doing.

6. this picture...when i look at it i can't help but picture myself living there.

5. http://www.dailypuppy.com/

4. these glasses (from redvelvetart.com)

3. flannel pajamas.

2. brent's haiku review (genius)

1. ryan adams and his harmonica, of course.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRnoh86FD2A

oh...and a bonus...aaron weiss.

i hope one of these will make you smile.

it's monday. this leaves me without much to say...
other than the fact that i'm eagerly anticipating trying my new coffee and i have recently acquired a taste for black licorice.
it was quite the weekend.

either way you should take a bit of time and watch this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy0HNWto0UY

and check out this blog.
http://www.cardboardlove.com/

i hope you enjoy.

sweet pea...apple of my eye

i can't get enough of this song today...

i think amos lee is pretty great...maybe you do too?
this song is wonderful.
it makes my heart jump a little.

p.s. i hope you're enjoying this weekend.

this is great too...

one of my favorite things about spring is that sooner or later you can depend on the sun to shine once again.
today is a perfect example...it was a bit on the gross side this morning, spitty rain..gloomy gray sky..it made me tired, did it make you tired as well?
but just now, i look out my window, and what do i see????
the sun has shown once again that it is dependable.
what's your favorite thing about spring?

it's sunday. and it's beautiful. enjoy.

did i tell you? did i tell you? did i tell you????
i got a "new" bike this weekend!!!!
one of the many reasons why this past week was probably one of the best that i've ever experienced.
on friday, some of my friends and i were planning on meeting for dinner and my friend liz texted me a bit before saying that she had a surprise for me...
much to my curiosity's dismay i had to wait 'til after dinner to find out what it was.
in my head i was hoping for a puppy, however unlikely/inconvenient that would be.
when we got to liz's though, my surprise proved to be soo much better than a puppy.
it was a sunshiney yellow schwinn road bike with racing handlebars.
can you even believe it? i'm still a bit in shock.
but yes, it's all sorts of perfect.
i was able to ride it for the first time today...what a beautiful day for a bike initiation, don't you think?
don't you worry...in due time there will be a picture here so that you too can bask in it's glory..
i hope that your first weekend of spring has been filled with a ridiculous amount of time enjoying the wonderful weather..

dust has begun to collect on my desk

you know?...

sometimes i wish i had the capability to sleep in, the physical capability that is. i have plenty of opportunities, my body just will not let me sleep past 8:30am...ah well.

sometimes (most days) i don't live each day to it's full potential. that makes me a bit sad... i need to work on this.

sometimes i wish i lived in a different city, a different state.

sometimes my dreams of living somewhere else manifest themselves into plans of the perfect little house, flat, a place i could call home. where i can pick and choose what each room looks like and i could just settle down and be so wonderfully happy there.

but then sometimes thinking of a future home makes me a little sad, because growing up is intimidating, and i don't want to move on from this beautiful part of my life that i'm in right now, there are too many people my heart would miss too much.

sometimes i wish every day could be as perfectly spring-like as these past couple days have been (except a bit warmer, being able to wear a dress without a chill would be nice). although i do enjoy the occassional rainy day.

sometimes i would like to be able to say/do exactly what i want to say/do when i'm in a situation, that the perfect witty statement would come to mind, that i could act on an impulse instead of walking away, and 5 minutes later having the perfect thing to say come to mind.

sometimes i go on and on for much too long....and for that i'm sorry...

i get a (kick) out of you.

so, today i ended up watching martha stewart with my grandma, and despite my general disgust with martha's demeanor she usually has at least one interesting segment in her show.
and today was no exception.
please forgive me for sounding silly, but this guy from the baltimore botanical gardens was on there talking about soil.
i know, i know...but just wait.
he had a lot to say about the care and keeping of gardens, and that's pretty exciting to me.
but my favorite thing about it was how interested he was in soil and gardening, how intelligent he sounded when he talked about it, and how you could see how much he genuinely enjoyed sharing his interest with others.
and as trivial a thing as you may think soil is (which is a silly belief to have since it's a pretty basic universal need) i admire this guy.
i just love talking to and interacting with people that are just...intelligent.
i love walking away from a conversation feeling like i'm a better person because of it.
bottom line...i think intelligence and the sharing of said intelligence with others is highly attractive. so thank you, mystery soil man on martha...you made me smile....you and your beard.

pandora.

as i'm sitting here "studying"...minding my own business...listening to pandora...
the most wonderful of songs surprises me...
the beatles "i will".
i never realized how beautiful it is.
if i was one of those girls that picked "our song" that would be it.
maybe i'll be one of those girls someday....probably not.
it'll just be my song.
for now.

oh. my. word.
it's splendid oustide today, simply splendid.
actually...now that i think of it, i'm kind of wasting time inside typing this when i could be out of doors.
i'll make this quick.
less than 24 hours 'til i will be heading home for spring break.
eeeekkkk.
after looking at design sponge's posts today i can barely contain my excitement for a trip to the treasure mart, to get some items to spice up...yay for painting!!!

p.s. please do yourself a favor, and spend as much time outside as possible today.

"I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far."

-Neil Simon.

yay! another monday!

the sun is doing it's job wonderfully today, don't you agree?

it's helping to lessen the blow of the ridiculously cold air...

this cold makes me giddy with thoughts of spring break.
no...i'm not venturing off to some tropical paradise where the temperature will permit a sundress and bare feet....but there's the promise of warmer temperatures...

i'm heading home for spring break, and i'm so ready to spend a week with my family.

other than indianapolis and a possible trip to chicago i won't be travelling very far from home, so i will get to just relax...

and more than anything else i'm excited to spend time with my grandma.

i don't know that i've ever told you much about her, but she's the greatest human being i've ever met.

if there was one person i have ever wanted to grow up to be like, it is her.
i don't truly think that i can describe how lovely she is, you would just have to meet her.

she's so very crafty, quick-witted and humble.

but yes, i would just like to be able to spend this spring break soaking up whatever bits of her wonderful-ness (?) that i can. i think we're going to be doing a bit of sewing together, and who knows what else. hopefully baking bread...drinking tea...talking about how ridiculous my grandpa is...building a coat rack (yeah, she's quite the carpenter as well)...and watching dumb & dumber (her favorite movie)...

just thinking about it makes me smile....eeeekkk!

see...isn't she lovely?

26 things. for the 26th of february.

1. i purchased a red stocking cap today. i'm pretty excited about it. i think it will contrast well with the gray skies that are relatively common here in indiana.
2. i did my laundry yesterday. and about half of it is still sitting in my laundry bag. clean, unfolded, and now wrinkly. my motivation is obvious.
3. yesterday, i got an ikea catalog in the mail. i found the bed frame i want for next year. guess i won't be asking my grandpa to help me make one.
4. i was going to have oatmeal for dinner tonight. but i didn't have any peanut butter...
5. i'm going to cut my bangs tonight.
6. right now i'm listening to incubus' song "echo"...it's perfect for today...truly.
7. i like days when i can relax all morning. today was one of those days.
8. as a result of this "relaxing" (aka. being lazy) i still need to tackle my accounting homework. bah.
9. i have missed the last 3 episodes of lost. i'm finding that i care less and less about this show.
10. my throat is achin'
11. i have a growing addiction to post-it's.
12. i've been a bad student this week.
13. i desperately need to finish a letter to a dear friend of mine. i've not been a very productive pen-pal this year.
14. i have recently really appreciated the color yellow.
15. i would like to buy a fisheye camera (there's a real neat green one on urbanoutfitters.com)
16. i miss my friend erica. and i don't enjoy the fact that she lives in virginia.
17. i cannot wait until it gets warm, i really want to take a stroll around a zoo.
18. my roommate and i were ridiculous today...and watched the extended edition of the two towers...
19. i can't wait for spring break...and getting to make breakfast for my sister before she heads to school.
20. you should listen to israel kamakawiwo'ole's version of "somewhere over the rainbow". i promise you won't regret it.
21. spring break is so close. i'm so excited about this..so many possibilities.
22. i'm going to make another attempt at granola over break. yay.
23. i'm in the mood for a "treasure mart" visit.
24. flannel shirts. one of the greatest things since cupcakes. i can't seem to find a decently priced one...i guess it's off to goodwill.
25. speaking of goodwill...maybe they'll have some great mugs. that would be wonderful.
26. i don't like capital letters.