i received a compliment last night.
a compliment that didn't make me feel awkward at all (usually i get really uncomfortable when people compliment me)
but instead it made my little heart dance a jig.
you see, yesterday before boredom hit i decided to bake some peanut butter cookies.
this decision was entirely based on the fact that our house has a 6 pound jar of peanut butter, and i figured i should assist in the using up of it.
so i baked these cookies, because that's what i do, i bake so i can give the goods to other people, because truly i don't like eating cookies and cupcakes, i just like seeing other peoples' faces light up when they're offered one.
anyways...
last night i was walking back to my house and met up with one of my housemates.
she proceeded to tell me that the cookies i made were delicious, and when i said thank you she said, "no you aren't letting me finish"...and she proceeded to say..."so i took a bite of one and thought...what is different about these cookies? their too soft to be store bought, but they're too perfectly shaped to not be store bought. and then i remembered that you are planning on opening a bakery. and then it all made sense"
this may seem to you to be a trivial mesh of words, but it was music to my ears.

happiest of mondays to you?
what are you thankful for today?
i'm real thankful that i have the day off!!! picnic with people i love, it's going to be so many kinds of wonderful.

if grace is an ocean...we're all drowning.

i'm on a bit of a josh garrels kick here recently.
i just can't stop listening to 'zion & babylon'....mmmhhhmmm.
one of my housemates made fortune cookies yesterday.
and i'm still impressed by it.
she was so modest about it, but it may have very well been the coolest thing someone has ever made for me.
i finally got to experience the abbey road pub yesterday, it was made even more enjoyable by the beautiful people i was sharing a meal with.
i am in love.
with these people.
with this grace.
with their laughter.
uggg...the fact that the summer is halfway over makes me very very sad.

i've recently acquired a pen pal.
he's real great.
it kind of makes me feel like i'm in elementary school again.
what a great feeling.

last night at work i spilled a beer...on my feet.
now my shoes smell like landshark....blarg.
couldn't it have at least been blue moon?

i think....

hello dear friends!
how are you on this fine june day? i hope you are smiling, with lightness in your eyes.
i wish i could recount every detail from this past week to you, and explain to you the deepness of the joy that it made me feel...but we would be here for hours.
and hours my friend, can be better spent on something else.
my very best friend came to visit at the beginning of the week...i think my heart may still be smiling from that.
i feel so at peace with her. knowing that i could do or say anything, and i would not be judged. that giggling and maybe not even saying a word could be the time of our life.
we shared secrets, coffee, a bike ride, smiles and our most recent stories.
i hope that you too have a friend like this.
i hope that we can some day be friends like this.
let's do that, mkay?

fast forward to today.
it was so muggy this morning, making my run a little less than fun.
after a quick shower and some fellowship with a housemate i headed off on a bike ride, with dreams of a lovely cup of coffee in my head.
the boardwalk is a bustle of activity with the boardwalk art show today.
so after some coffee and reading i headed out to experience the excitement for myself.
it was beautiful, all those people, with the sun on our shoulders, brushing against each other filled with quick heart beats from seeing images that stir us.
i like it when so many human stories collide at one point, it can be a bit overwhelming.
i thrive in situations like this.
thank God for crowds.

oh my.

i've been no good at updating this recently.
it seems that there just aren't words perfect enough to describe my most recent days to you.
i wish you could just be here beside me, experiencing everything.
as i type this it is storming like there's no tomorrow here in virginia beach.
there's actually a tornado warning....hhmmmppph.
we watched the lightening over the ocean for a bit, until my little heart got scared from the nearness of the storm and i frighteningly scampered back to shelter.
i feel like my days have been so packed recently...
packed in a delightful way, but leaving me with little time to collect my thoughts.

i hope this reaches you...someday.

dearest friend,
as i sit here nibbling at some cereal i realized there are some things i should tell you.
you have been so much more than i deserve. the grace you extend to me daily has not gone unnoticed, i promise you that, even when i seem distant and clueless. i know that i don't tell you enough how much you mean to me. your friendship is so encouraging to me. your smile makes me know that there's no reason to get so down.
giggling with you is by far my favorite thing. wasting time by your side even makes me feel like i've accomplished something. i wish all relationships came this naturally.
i'm sorry for all the temper tantrums, complaints, and confusing glances.
i am imperfect, but you know that and seem to be more than okay with it.
i have learned so much from you. thank you for teaching me things, even though you may be unaware that you are doing just that.
i think i'm growing up. and i hope part of this is that i become less selfish.
then maybe i'll be able to tell you these things to your face, instead of vaguely addresing you, worrying about what it may do to my pride.
but your's is the kindest smile, and despite what the knot in my stomach tells me, you would not reject my words.
even now i can't wait for the next time that i can lazily sit with you and shoot the breeze.
let's drink tea and make breakfast together every day for the rest of our lives?
mkay?

with more love than i can manipulate words to tell,
~katie

sometimes my heart feels so heavy. such has been the case this evening.
i would be lying if i said i didn't know the cause of this heaviness.
it's selfish how i let these feelings determine my actions, so selfish, and i need to grow up.
i miss the people that i could sit down, have some tea with and lay my heart out on the table.
i need someone here right now to sit with me as i whine with tears in my eyes and reassure me... then tell me what i need to hear.
that's what i need...
someone to tell me what i need to hear.
it's what i need...but do i really want that?

we talked about silence today.
the importance of it, and then we practiced it.
i do not have trouble being quiet, not talking.
but being silent, clearing my head, is so difficult for me.
i'm so selfish, i always have something going through my head.
a half hour was not enough, i need about an hour just to calm my heart down.
this is going to take practice....

the sun...it rose...once again.

i feel like i haven't updated in a while...

and i feel like there is lots that i could fill you in on, but i'm having trouble arranging my words.

no, no, no...i just don't have words to arrange, that's the problem.

hmm...i had my first day off yesterday (other than project days) and that was beautiful.

layne and i had a ridiculous time...it only could've been made better if the final countdown had been on repeat as background music.

we baked pancake muffins...with peanut butter/nutella filling! and yes, they were as delightful as they sound.

i get so excited when i get to bake with friends...eeek!

last night at session we talked about the 'Desert Fathers'

a.k.a. those fellas that ventured to the desert driven by a desperation for spirituality.

this discussion touched on the topic of simplicity.

this is something that i desire so much...but my selfishness keeps getting in the way.

praying for simplicity...that's what i be doin' this week.

so i'm reading blue like jazz...again.

i very nearly envy donald miller's writing.

it's so...simple...see there i go again. silly simplicity.

anyways...i'm reading the chapter on romance, and of course he has some gentle wit to impart to us...

i find this section highly amusing...

"i think if you like somebody you have to tell them. it might be embarassing to say it, but you will never regret stepping up. i know from personal experience, however, that you should not keep telling a girl that you like her after she tells you she isn't into it. you should not keep riding your bike by her house either."

doesn't that make you giggle...the second part anyways.

the first part just makes me think...i'm not real good at imparting my feelings to those around me. confronting issues like that is just too messy for me...i wish i was better at telling people how much they mean to me.

i feel like i say that all the time.

hmmm....i guess that's something to think about for the day...

unfinished thoughts..if only i could fill in the blanks.

i like:
seeing people smile.
playing in the rain.
friends.
singing "my girl"
breakfast for dinner.
being surprised by people.

today was filled with all of these things.
my heart is overflowing with the goodness of God in this day.
i am so thankful for the people that i am surrounded by this summer.
they blow me away.

i realized today that i get ridiculously excited about semi-silly things.
hmmmph. how obnoxious of me.
sorry if i bother you in my excitement.
my heart is still skipping a beat.
there is so much comfort in that smile.

everything about being with you is...just so easy.

i'm no good at this blogging thing.
i feel like i write so much, but still manage to say so little.
i like to dance around with my words...maybe it makes me think i still have some secrets i can keep.
hmmm...

i talked to my best friend on the phone a couple nights ago.
that was nice...i like hashing through all the stuff going through my head with her.
i miss having conversations face to face about stuff like this.
sometimes stuff is too deep to talk about over the phone...

we had our monday night session last night. (obviously)
which is definitely a good thing...i was nearly running on empty the last couple days.
it was a nice re-charge.
but the message felt like it was directed right at me.
it skimmed over some stuff that i feel is probably one of my greatest struggles.
we started in luke 9 when Jesus is sending out the disciples...
with the kicker (for me anyways) that they are to basically go without any provision for themselves.
i tend to surround myself with material things...a security blanket of sorts..
but in matthew...when there's talk of not needing to be anxious, because if God keeps watch over all these small things, he will protect you too.
one phrase jumped out at me...and i still can't get it out of my head...
"consider the lilies of the field , how they grow; they neither toil nor spin..."
just a little something to think about for the day...
so keep your head up, don't toil or spin...i'm right here with you. we can hold hands.