my heart...it's curious.

it's snowing today. nothing that will stick, but it is snow nonetheless. it happens, every year, but as much as i don't like cold weather, this precipitation excite me. because this means that christmas time is just around the corner...probably my favorite time of year. it means i should start making christmas gifts for people, i have all these great creations in mind...i cannot wait to hand my family and friends their gifts that were made especially for them. and not to mention all the baking i get to do!!! oooo...if you only knew how happy this made me...

along with this excitement though comes some mixed feelings, specifically antsy, unsure of things i need/should say. unfortunately last night i decided to watch "love actually" and it's just got me confronting all these silly feelings i've had for so long. actually no, i cannot blame it on the movie, unfortunately the majority of things remind me of these feelings. it drives me crazy. is it even possible to feel this strongly for someone that you barely know...but everytime you come into contact with them it lights you up like no one else ever has. this is sooo dumb. i really want to move on, but every guy i meet is compared to this "perfect" way that i want you to be. i wish this wasn't so tough, silly christmas, making me feel like i need to be honest.