obadiah?

i've been thinking a lot recently. (i know...surprising, right?)
about how i wish i was a different person, maybe a better version of myself?
i think i'm pretty lazy sometimes. not in common areas of laziness, i'm industrious at work, i do my school work, i clean up after myself (most of the time), but...i real lazy in relationships.
i find myself thinking that the relationships i have are enough, how many more friends do i really need?...
gah...really. who do i think i am?
as you can see, i'm pretty selfish in my relationships. i need to change that.
i hope God works on my heart this semester.
maybe that's my goal, to be willing to let God change me. stop resisting.
i need to be more giving with my time, i tend to hold back my time off all to myself...i need someone to keep me accountable in this. my heart needs tweaking.
i need to be more surefooted....hm.

recently a very dear friend of mine suggested that i read the book of obadiah. convenient, because it is only a chapter long...my attention did not stray in that short chapter.
i tend to have a pretty negative view of the old testament books. war after war, stubborn people, continually having to be told what to do, reminders after reminders.
before reading this book i decided to get some background information on it, so it didn't just seem like another conflict....this helped immensely.
it's hard to write down all my feelings during/after reading this...i just suggest that you read it for yourself.
i'll leave you with a bit that i found interesting...

"now you will be destroyed completely and filled with shame forever. for you deserted your relatives in Israel during their time of greatest need. you stood aloof, refusing to lift a finger to help when foreign invaders carried off their wealth and cast lots to divide up Jerusalem. you acted as if you were one of Israel's enemies. you shouldn't have done this! .... the day is near when I, the Lord will judge the godless nations! as you have done to Israel, so it will be done to you. all your evil deeds will fall back on your own heads."

-obadiah 11-12, 15